Warning Labels
Warning! Keep your pants on when sitting in the Interactive Health massage chair featuring "Human Touch Technology." *The full text of this important safety tip read: "Do not use massage chair without clothing. Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving." *"Do not use snow blower on the roof." *"Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." *A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions, "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." *A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user: "Remove child before folding." *A bottle of prescription sleeping pills says, "Warning: May cause drowsiness." *A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan actually warns: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." *A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult." *An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions, "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." *A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use "while sleeping or unconscious." *A container of underarm deodorant says, "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." *A cartridge for a laser printer warns, "Do not eat toner." *A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn." *A label with a hair dryer reads, "Never use hair dryer while sleeping." *A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: "Not intended for highway use." *A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place." *A bathroom heater says: "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." *A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: "May irritate eyes." *A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." *A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: "Caution: Risk of Fire." *A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertation into a body cavity." *On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. *On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Time for that X-Ray vision) *On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (As opposed to "irregular" soap?) *On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. *On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (Printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. *On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. *On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. *On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (Does this company needs to review the child labor laws?) *On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. *On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: Keep out of children. *On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. *On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (That does make you wonder!) *On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. *On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. *On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. *On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. Category:Language Humor